Simply Illogical
by Alyssa Tolensky
Summary: When Spock's home planet Vulcan is just destroyed, he doesn't want sympathy from his lover Uhura, but rather he would care for attention from another member of the crew on the Enterprise. SpockxKirk implied ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Star Trek. BTW, this event takes place during the movie, so yeah. For those of you who haven't seen it, you may not completely get it. I wrote it after only seeing the movie once so I apologize if I didn't get the dialogue just right.**

The crew could do nothing, but sit back and watch in utter silence as they watched the planet, Vulcan get sucked into itself through a black hole. Luckily, the U.S.S. Enterprise managed to beam up the Vulcan Elder Council and their comrade, Captain Spock. As Spock and the others reappeared onto the ship on the transport pad, Spock kept his hand where it was previously on the now vanquished planet as he had reached out to his mother. He had watched in horror as his mother fell with the crumbling edge of the cliff outside the Vulcan Council Temple. Although he was safely onboard the rather silent Enterprise, he could still hear his mother's screams ring in his ears.

His father looked at him as the other elders stepped off the pad and through the sliding doors heading toward the bridge. Spock slowly lowered his arm to his side. His father shook his head, putting a firm hand on his broken son's shoulder.

"My son," he said. "it would be wise not to dwell upon your feelings of sorrow." His father advised. Spock fought hard to fight back his welling tears.

"But…" Spock defended in a calm voice. "…never mind it." He said stepping off the transport pad. A million and one things ran through his advanced mind in a sudden jolt. The human half wanted to scream, to cry or to do something so badly it made his stomach ache. However, the Vulcan half refused to show any sign of emotion, lest he must give up his awarded position as Captain of the mission and show the crew that he really did have a soft spot in that three-chambered heart that was beating at a surprisingly normal rate.

Before entering the doors leading to the elevator to the bridge, he took a deep breath. He stepped inside and watched the lights flash as the chamber took him up. When the doors finally opened, all the crew members turned to face him. What were they hoping to see? A twinge of emotion and heartbreak from the Vulcan captain perhaps, yet the display never came into view. Spock simply walked through the room to take a seat in his chair. Everyone continued to gaze at him with apologetic eyes.

"Return to your positions, everyone. There is still much that must be accomplished." He ordered. Just like that, everyone slowly went back to their jobs at their controls; the faint beeping began once more, breaking the utter silence.

'What is the reason that they fix their gaze upon me?' Spock asked himself as the Enterprise slowly made it's way through space. 'Is it that they feel compassion for the loss of my people or is it that they simply feel the need to pity me?' Spock gripped the arms of the seat in frustration before standing back up to leave the room. He could feel the sadness of the others drift about the room to the point where he could no longer stand it.

Nyota Uhura stood up from her control panel and faced her lover with a concerned look on her face.

"Spock, it'll be alright." She said trying to comfort him.

"It seems…that I am now a member of an endangered species." He said simply as he walked right past her.

"Spock, wait." She said following him into the elevator. The elevator doors closed, but Spock hadn't yet pressed the button to move. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she said as tears welled up in her dark eyes. She kissed his cheek and made a trail of kisses down his neck before hugging him. After a short hesitation, he hugged her back and leaned into her. "What do you need?" she asked sympathetically taking his face into her hands. "Tell me."

"I need…everyone to continue performing admirably!" he stated pushing the elevator button. With tears in her eyes, she nodded and kissed him again. He kissed her back and when the elevator door opened, he left her behind without a backward glance. He calmly, but swiftly made his way to his quarters and sat down on the bed. He was the least bit tired, but he needed to be alone to sort his scrambled thoughts.

'Nero had no right…that evil fiend had no right to obliterate my home!' he screamed in his head as his face still remained blank. 'What am I to do?' he lowered his head and ran his hands through his perfectly trimmed, black hair. 'It was indeed a miracle to have been able to successfully rescue the elders, but…mother…' he closed his eyes tight to keep back the tears. Although his mother was human, she was his mother and he loved her dearly. When he was growing up, he would be willing to fight anyone who would purposely slander his mother in his presence. Although most of his opponents were nearly twice his size, he still came out of the fight as the victor.

Spock reopened his eyes. No sense in revisiting his past memories. They would do him no good in this situation. However, there were _no_ memories that could possibly do him any good in this situation.

After several moments, he stood up, straightened his shirt and exited the room to once again return to his rightful position on the bridge. Once he returned, one of the navigators and assistant transporter detail, Pavel Chekov, turned around in his seat and called Spock over to his monitor.

"Captain, there was an unauthorized access to one of the main water valves." He informed in his thick Russian accent.

"Show me the surveillance camera feed." Spock ordered flatly. The monitor showed two people drenched in water running out of view of the camera. "Security, I need you to capture the intruders and bring them to the bridge." He commanded. "Set the faisers to 'stun'." He said as he took a seat in his chair and waited for the four security guards to capture the intruders. Not long after his orders were sent, security returned with one familiar face and someone no one recognized at all.

The troublemaker, James (Jim) T. Kirk was dragged in with his new companion, simply known as Scotty who looked around as he knocked the water out of his ears from the water valve he was trapped in merely moments ago.

"We are traveling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard the ship?" Spock asked with a hint of anger and confusion in his voice.

"You're the genius. You figure it out." Jim replied trying to break out of the security guards' hold.

"As acting captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question." Spock demanded beginning to raise his voice.

"Well, I'm not telling, Acting Captain. What? Did-" Jim smirked still trying to wriggle free. "Oh, now that doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation?" Spock's face remained blank as he watched Kirk's futile attempt at escape. "That doesn't…"

Spock ignored Jim and turned instead to Scotty. "Are you a member of Starfleet?" he asked.

"Uh, yes." Scotty replied quickly. "Can I get a towel?" he asked.

"You know what I don't get about you, Spock?" Jim asked with a smirk. "Your home planet was completely destroyed and yet, you don't show that you even care that everyone you've ever known is gone."

Spock didn't change his expression. "I find showing emotion for that illogical." He stated flatly, his hands behind his back.

"Illogical? What's so illogical about it?" Jim asked. "You watched your mother die and you don't feel any kind of sadness at all?"

"Of course that saddens me, but it would be unwise to show my emotions." Spock defended with a twinge of anger in his voice getting closer to Jim's face.

"When you feel something, you shouldn't be afraid to express your emotions. Are you afraid or aren't you?" Jim mocked.

"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion."

"Then why don't you stop me?" he asked. "She was your mother and you don't even care she died! You didn't love her at all!" Jim yelled. Spock screamed in anger as he threw a few hard punches at Jim's face making the guard release him. Jim got to his feet and tried to fight back, but Spock delivered another couple of punches. Jim landed on his back on a front control panel, but before he had the time to move, Spock already had a tight grip on Jim's neck, hoping to choke the life out of him. Jim grabbed Spock's hand trying in vain to remove it from his neck. Spock's anger stayed neutral as Jim gasped for air.

The other members of the crew watched wide-eyed as their captain was choking the life out of Kirk. Suddenly, Spock caught a glimpse of his father out of the corner of his eye. He looked over at the concerned look on his father's face and he quickly released his grip on Jim's neck. Jim coughed as air rushed into his lungs. He put his hand to his badly bruised neck and continued to cough.

Spock's angered expression suddenly died as he glanced around at the terrified faces of the crew. "I-I must resign from my position of captain." Spock said. "It seems…that I am too emotionally attached to this mission." He straightened himself up and walked over to the elevator. Nyota ran over before the doors closed.

"Spock, are you…are you sure you want to do this?" she asked. He knew that if he resigned for his position, which would make Kirk the captain instead. Spock nodded.

"Affirmative." He stated simply as the doors closed and he pressed the button to go down to the transport room. He got out of the elevator to the empty transport room. With a sigh, he walked over to the pad and looked at the pad that his mother would have been transported on. It was that moment that he wanted to cry, but again, he didn't find it logical to do so.

"Spock." His father walked in to find his son staring at the vacant teleport pad. "When you where young, you once asked why I had married your mother." He said. "It was not simply because it was a logical decision. I married her because I loved her." He explained. For a long time, the two just stood there in silence staring at the pad until finally, his father was beginning to leave.

"Father," Spock said turning towards him. "What…what does love feel like?" he asked. Perhaps, there were no strange feelings with love and he was truly in love with Nyota. His father smiled.

"It feels very extraordinary." He replied. "It feels as if, time itself no longer is in motion. It feels similar to the experience of floating above the ground." Spock was confused. That wasn't what he felt around Nyota at all. "The feeling vary for each person, Spock and they can arise at any time." He said as he left his son alone. Spock realized that he had once experienced the feeling of time slowing back at the Starfleet Academy. When he experienced this exactly, he couldn't remember.

He calmly walked back to the elevator to head back to his room to cool down. As he stood in the elevator, he racked his brain trying desperately to remember when he felt attraction to someone. When the elevator doors opened, he slowly walked down the hall towards his room. He opened the sliding white door to his room and walked inside sitting down on the bed.

He sat there thinking about his experience until his head started to hurt. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. He sighed and stood up.

"Enter." Spock ordered. In walked Captain James Kirk. "What do you require of me?" Spock asked glaring at him.

"Um…I wanted to apologize for earlier." Jim explained. Spock quirked a pointed brow at him. "I mean, what I said about your mother. I didn't mean it. I'm sure you loved her very much." Spock nodded.

"Then, what may I ask were your motives for angering me?" Spock asked.

"I needed you to give up your position. I know what I'm doing as Captain for this mission and you weren't listening to me." Jim replied.

"I see." Spock said. "I suppose…my tactics on this mission thus far have accomplished nothing." He admitted. Jim shook his head closing the door behind him.

"You're lucky, you know." Jim stated. "You know, you and Lieutenant Uhura. She's…she's beautiful." He said.

"Thank you, Captain Kirk." Spock said. "Though, I don't believe that she is the one I want." He replied as Jim was beginning to leave. However, Spock's last comment made him stop and turn around.

"Who then?" he asked. Spock shot his head up coming to the sudden realization that he found the feeling of love after Jim had defeated his own test. He was attracted to his cleverness of being the first undergraduate cadet to successfully pass his impossible test simulation. What was he to say now? Spock blushed.

"Well, I uh…" Spock was just about to tell Jim the truth when suddenly Pavel's voice came over the intercom.

"Captain, we need your attention on the bridge!"

"Whoops! Duty calls." Jim said leaving. "You can tell me who you love later!" Spock slowly closed the door as Jim ran to the elevator. Spock sighed.

"I love…you, Jim." Spock said quietly to himself. He knew he loved him, but he also knew that Vulcan culture was strictly against two of the same sex creatures being together. It was just simply illogical. But Spock decided that when the time was right, he would tell Jim his true feelings. Until then, he had to help defeat the Romulan enemy that had just recently destroyed his home.


End file.
